Five Networking Tips That You Can Remember (and Actually Work)

Be honest. Do you (or anyone) truthfully love networking? When given the choice between going to lunch with a colleague or entering a room of strangers, most of us are going to choose lunch. Networking can be daunting. It's like starting to date again after a breakup; you never know what to say, you're wondering what the other person's intentions are and you're asking yourself "is this person going to be the one that helps me grow or another waste of time?"

Networking is also a new beginning and necessary in the business world. You never know when you're going to be able to leverage that acquaintance you met at the Dell booth at CES last year (or when their start up is going to become the next Facebook). Here are some ways to take the mystery out of successful networking (or at least make it more of a project checklist than a cliff overlooking the abyss).

1. Walk confidently

Everyone attends business conferences, events and off-sites for business or personal growth. Even if everyone is standing in groups, no one is going to wonder why you walked over and introduced yourself. Do your homework and try to identify at least five people you wish to meet. When you approach someone, act confident (even if you are not): smile, extend your hand, look them in the eye and introduce yourself. No one is going to say "um, what are you doing?" at the very least, everyone will be polite and say hello back. Just remember, they are just as lucky to be meeting you as you are to be meeting them.

2. Stare at their business card

When someone hands you their business card, you are accepted into their proverbial club. With someone's business card you have all of their contact information, which (inevitably) includes follow up emails and a LinkedIn request. Thus, treat the card like an invitation into their secret club. I make a point to hold the card and stare at it longingly for five seconds. Then, pick one aspect of the card to ask them about: "what brought you to work at AirBnB," "what does the VP of strategy oversee for a company like Amazon." The main reason for doing this is to pump up their ego and extend your gratitude. Both of which leave lasting impressions and their willingness to assist you in the future. Lastly, I always carry a pen with me, so immediately after a conversation I can write a descriptive note about that person on their card. This comes in handy when you return from a conference with 100 cards and need to remember each person.

3. Let things get personal

No, not like that. Once you have exchanged introductions, discussed what each does for work and explained why you are at the event, change the conversation to something other than business. The reason you are doing this is because you are trying to find out something personal you have in common, or a need they have that you can address (more on this in #4). People (hopefully) care more about their personal lives than their life in the office. It will be a welcome departure from repetitive business conversation to talk about growing up in Boston, their affinity for down hill mountain biking or their passion for saving endangered species in Australia. When someone is talking business, they are "on" (guarded with what they say, consistently searching for opportunities), but when they are talking about their personal lives, they are just having a conversation. This helps the other person (and you) relax and (if you're lucky) you will discover something you have in common. Commonality on a personal level creates stronger bonds than business ever could.

4. What do they need?

Sales 101 teaches us we have to solve the customer's problem. Everyone you meet at a networking event starts out as a new customer. You need to sell them on your product (you) and convince them that they cannot live without it. The best way to do this is to decide what they need (even if they do not know it). Through conversation, if you pay close enough attention, you can discover who really wants a promotion, who has a work-life balance issue, who wants greater recognition, who wants to find something they are passionate about. Once you know this, you can think of creative ways that doing business with you will help them achieve that goal. For example, if you're a project management company and you discover someone has a work-life balance issue, you can pitch your product as something that allows full time employees to spend less time in the office due to the efficiencies you provide. If you're not solving their deepest problem, you are just noise.

5. End with their name

Keep each new meeting short and sweet (even if things are really rolling). People appreciate shortness in business: short emails, short meetings and short networking moments. Speak to each new person for no more than 20 minutes (but ensure you spoke to them on a personal level and understand what they need before you leave). When the 20 minutes is up smile big, shake their hand, look them in the eye and say their name "Eric, it was a pleasure meeting you. You better find time to go skiing in Vermont this winter and I look forward to keeping in touch." There is something about saying someone's name, to their face, that makes them feel like they are standing in the room, stark naked, and you're not going to judge them for it. It is a bold way of saying "we are friends now." Additionally, in your departure, make sure you mention one of the personal topics you discussed and your plans to continue the relationship. In one sentence you've stunned them, reminded them you know them beyond the workplace and have them looking forward to seeing you again.

All of these tips may not make networking more fun, but it will make networking more successful. If you're dressed for success (for some reason business formal clothes make everyone wonder which company you're the CEO of) and follow these five steps, you will have everyone you meet eager to continue the conversation. Start small, with one or two of these tips, and work your way up to all five. Please, remember, that even if they are the CEO of Google, you have something to offer them and they are lucky to meet you. You got this!